Leaf writing paper
Idea Topics For Argumentative Essay
Tuesday, August 25, 2020
Free Native Son Essays: Bigger :: Native Son Essays
Local Son: Bigger à In his most well known novel, Native Sun, Richard Wright effectively creates three significant subjects: Racism, savagery as an individual need, and social bad form. He has caught the incredible feelings and enduring, the disappointments and desires, the eagerness and agitation, of all the Greater Thomas' in this grippingly sensational novel. à à â â â Wright shows to us, through Bigger Thomas, how terrible things were for the dark race. He tells how Bigger was brought up in an oneâ ªroom loft, living with his family and rodents. The lease was exceptionally high, and his mom was scarcely ready to pay it. Greater's instruction like most blacks around then , didn't surpass the eighth grade. Without the assistance of the Relief Agency, Bigger and his family might not have had the option to keep up any longer monetarily. Greater had no cash, with the exception of the extra change his mom gives him, so he would typically simply hang out at the pool corridor, which was operating at a profit region, or southside. à à â â â Bigger used to pull little employments with his companions, however every one of them counting Bigger needed to pull off a difficult task, by looting Blum's store. They were apprehensive however, of getting captured for burglarizing a white man. They realize the police couldn't care less about blacks, and would most likely blame them for a lot more wrongdoings. Fortunately for Bigger, however, the Relief Agency found him an occupation with the Daltons. At the point when Bigger went to the Daltons house for the first time, he brought his firearm, since it caused him to feel equivalent to the white individuals. à à â â â When Bigger got to the Daltons house, he didn't realize whether to enter the house by the front or secondary passage. He searches for a route to the back, and understands the main route in is through the front entryway. As he rang the doorbell, he felt extremely upset. Furthermore, when he began conversing with Mr. Dalton, Mr. Dalton gets some information about his past violations, which made Bigger feel compelled. At that point Mary Dalton strolled in and inquired as to whether he was in a association, in the event that he thought about socialism, and afterward still more inquiries, until her father at last requested that her leave the room. Greater was anxious about the possibility that that this little imp would get him to lose his employment. At that point he met Peggy, a servant, Who asks Bigger every one of these inquiries, similar to he could get what Free Native Son Essays: Bigger :: Native Son Essays Local Son: Bigger à In his most well known novel, Native Sun, Richard Wright effectively creates three significant subjects: Racism, brutality as an individual need, and social bad form. He has caught the incredible feelings and enduring, the dissatisfactions and desires, the fretfulness and madness, of all the Greater Thomas' in this grippingly emotional novel. à à â â â Wright shows to us, through Bigger Thomas, how awful things were for the dark race. He tells how Bigger was brought up in an oneâ ªroom loft, living with his family and rodents. The lease was exceptionally high, and his mom was scarcely ready to pay it. Greater's instruction like most blacks around then , didn't surpass the eighth grade. Without the assistance of the Relief Agency, Bigger and his family might not have had the option to keep up any longer monetarily. Greater had no cash, with the exception of the extra change his mom gives him, so he would typically simply hang out at the pool corridor, which was operating at a profit region, or southside. à à â â â Bigger used to pull little employments with his companions, yet every one of them counting Bigger needed to pull off a difficult task, by burglarizing Blum's store. They were apprehensive however, of getting captured for burglarizing a white man. They realize the police couldn't care less about blacks, and would presumably blame them for a lot more violations. Fortunately for Bigger, however, the Relief Agency found him a vocation with the Daltons. At the point when Bigger went to the Daltons house for the first time, he brought his weapon, since it caused him to feel equivalent to the white individuals. à à â â â When Bigger got to the Daltons house, he didn't realize whether to enter the house by the front or indirect access. He searches for a path to the back, and understands the main path in is through the front entryway. As he rang the doorbell, he felt exceptionally upset. Also, when he began conversing with Mr. Dalton, Mr. Dalton gets some information about his past wrongdoings, which made Bigger feel forced. At that point Mary Dalton strolled in and inquired as to whether he was in a association, in the event that he thought about socialism, and afterward still more inquiries, until her father at long last requested that her leave the room. Greater was worried about the possibility that that this little whelp would get him to lose his employment. At that point he met Peggy, a house cleaner, Who asks Bigger every one of these inquiries, similar to he could get what
Saturday, August 22, 2020
Teaching English as a second language Essay Example for Free
Training English as a subsequent language Essay Language is supposed to be a framework in which the blend of sounds structure words and the mix of words structure sentences for a portrayal of information is controlled by an arrangement of rules. Also, these guidelines are applied in the development of words and sentences. One of the essential standards of learning a subsequent language is to utilize it as quickly as time permits in our regular day to day existence exercises. This is clarified to the student and the educator puts forth attempt to make sure that the language is found out, regardless of the numerous obstruction marvels all the while. Nigeria is a multilingual and multi-social nation. It has been assessed that more than 400 indigenous dialects exist in the nation. This variety of dialects in Nigeria was aggravated with the approach of the pilgrim experts who presented and embedded the English language in Nigeria. It has become some portion of the framework to the degree that rather than the continous battle required to satisfy up with the guideline set by the local speakers , a Nigerian assortment has developed. It is presently viewed as a Nigerian language. The English Language in Nigeria appreciates a renowned status, having a high premium put on it as the national Lingua franca, It is the Language of organization, exchange, trade and industry, between ethnic relationship. It is the language of incorporation and guidance in schools or more all the language of national Unity just as universal correspondence. Aside from working as the language of combination here in Nigeria, Yate (1992) has seen that ââ¬Ë of progressively eminent significance is the expansion in the universal and innovative capacity of English Language as the prevailing language of the Cyber cafã ©, and the most utilized language in the web. It is additionally an elitist language. We presently live in an ICT globalized world in which English is the vehicle of cooperation among people and countries. As indicated by Babajide 2002: ââ¬Å"For any country especially in the third world to be significant and get the most extreme profit by the open doors that have large amounts of each territory of human need, for individual progression and national turn of events, English is a ââ¬Ësine qua nonââ¬â¢. He further expressed that upâ till now the nation is as yet confronted with the situation of choosing an indigenous language that will encourage national solidarity. As the discussion proceeds, Prof. Afolayan bring s out the significant spot of English when he said that ââ¬Å"It is unreasonable for anyone in Nigeria today to imagine that National solidarity can be fashioned in the nation without plan of action to the use of the English Languageâ⬠¦Ã¢â¬ ¦. It has been simply the language of political element and furthermore the language of its politico-monetary unification and organization. Further more the way that it is presently working as the language of Nigerian Nationalis m can't be denied.â⬠Multilingualism and English in Nigeria The main Nigerian National song of praise recognizes the presence of indigenous dialects ââ¬Ëthough clan and tongue may contrast in fraternity we standâ⬠. Nigeria is a run of the mill multi-lingual nation in which minority dialects which are a lot of live one next to the other with the significant dialects. The nation isn't just the mixture of African socio-political and etymological real factors yet in addition the gathering purpose of different and merged perspectives on minority dialects and language approach. Multilingualism is a sociolinguistic phenonmenon that emerges because of language contact. It is a circumstance wherein at least two dialects work inside a similar setting. Factors, for example, political extension, conjugal relations, financial exchanges, social affiliation, instructive procurement and strict alliance realize multilingualism. Every one of these components support the socio-political scene of Nigeria today despite the fact that the blend of political and monetary exchange or abuse initially brought the individuals alluded to as Nigerians today in contact with the English individuals. The happening to English colonialist in the eighteenth Century realized ââ¬Å"Linguistic imperialismâ⬠a circumstance in which ââ¬Å" the psyches and lives of the speakers of a language are commanded by another dialect to where they accept that they can and should utilize just the outside lanugauge with regards to exchanges managing the propelled parts of life, for example, education,philosophy, literature,government and the organization of justice.â⬠So inspite of the way that English is remote, it has become a language that has assisted with welding together the numerous individuals that establish Nigeria.
Sunday, August 2, 2020
Boston Pops
Boston Pops Thanks to the organizational prowess of the Tau Beta Pi (engineering honor society) social chair and a generous invitation from a biochemical engineer, I went to the Boston Pops last Thursday night. Happy 125th anniversary to the Boston Symphony Orchestra (BSO)! This is how lovely Symphony Hall looks when it is not so yucky outside. Heres the beautiful ceiling of Symphony Hall. We sat at the same table as lovebirds Thomas 05 and Shannon Optimus Prime 05 remember their engagement party last January? That tall man in the middle is none other than John Williams! He has composed scores for scores of major motion pictures, including the Star Wars trilogy, the Indiana Jones films, the Harry Potter films, and Memoirs of a Geisha. The paragraph in the program that listed other films for which he has composed was approximately 35 lines long. Heres what they performed: A Postcard to Boston (A Hymn to New England) Three Pieces from Star Wars (Main Title Anakins Theme Imperial March) Selections from Harry Potter (Hedwigs Theme Aunt Marges Waltz Harrys Wondrous World) Jims New Life, from Empire of the Sun Suite from Memoirs of a Geisha (Sayuris Theme The Chairmans Waltz Brush on Silk) Flight to Neverland, from Hook Monsters Beauties, Heroes (King Kong Jaws Casablanca An Affair to Remember Robin Hood Superman) Theme from Cinema Paradiso Tribute to Three Legendary Composers (Theme from Star Trek the Motion Picture Theme from Laura Theme from The Magnificient Seven) The Olympic Spirit On the Esplanade (along the banks of the Boston side of the Charles River) is the Hatch Shell where the Boston Pops perform every 4th of July.
Saturday, May 23, 2020
The Bible By John Description - 865 Words
Love in the Bible by John description, can be directed from person to person or from a person to things in a blink of an eye. When a strong person or thing is drawn to your liking, this feeling is love this means you enjoy and take pleasure in those things you love. Love towards persons is more complex. The same with things, loving persons may mean simply enjoying them and taking pleasure in their presents, their looks, achievements, etc. But there is another aspect of love that is very important in the Bible. The important aspect of love for persons who are not attractive or poor or productive. In this case, love is not how much good you see in a person, but how deeply attached to your inner feelings to helping your be all they can be.â⬠¦show more contentâ⬠¦However, those who read deeper into the Bible will find more than just the stereotype that I have already explained. The God of the Bible has many moods. The Bible has stories of murder, warfare, etc. in which the ones do ing the acts are treated as good people that have done heroic deeds. What are we supposed to make of these situations? Can they still have good values and be applied to our daily lives to hopefully improve them? Let us take some examples from the Bible and examine them, while keeping the previous questions in mind. First, I would like to examine a story almost everyone is familiar with. This is the story of the Great Flood. When I think of this story, the first response I have is the thought of ââ¬Å"divine destructionâ⬠, or destruction caused by God. As we know, the amount of destruction in the Great Flood was overwhelming. The entire earth was flooded, killing everyone except Noah, his family, and a male and female of every animal. Is this story, God is the character doing the ââ¬Å"killingâ⬠. Of course, it is portrayed as a good deed, which is should be. In the long run, it was good for the world. Letââ¬â¢s look at how the Bible describes love, and then we will see a few ways in which God is the essence of love. ââ¬Å"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with
Sunday, May 10, 2020
The Impact of Media on Teens - Free Essay Example
Sample details Pages: 4 Words: 1233 Downloads: 2 Date added: 2019/04/10 Category Society Essay Level High school Tags: Social Media Essay Did you like this example? In 1997, Six Degree was documented to be the first media site. Now there are over a million social media sites available for those in the United States and out. Social media has its development. Social media has become a hefty part of a childs life due to the advancement of technology. If a child continues to partake in high dosage of social media, he/she will be affected socially and cognitively. Before we discuss the positive and negative effects, lets do some math. 3 Billion People Are Now Using Internet, 93% Of Teens Are Active Users (60%-70% Daily), 75% Of Teens Own A Cellphone, 22% Of Teens Check Their Site More Than 10 Times A Day, 24% Teen Have Hack into Someones Account, 13% Teens Have Posted or Sent Nudes. Donââ¬â¢t waste time! Our writers will create an original "The Impact of Media on Teens" essay for you Create order Online web-based life has increased shocking overall development and fame which has prompted drawing in consideration from assortment of analysts internationally. In spite of the fact that with time all ages have come to grasp the progressions informal organization has realized, youngsters and youthful grown-ups are the most fan clients of these destinations. As indicated by different research thinks about in the field of online interpersonal organizations, it has been uncovered that these destinations are affecting the lives of the young extraordinarily. When utilizing these destinations, for example, Twitter, Facebook or MySpace, there are both positive and negative impacts on the young. While on one hand interpersonal organization locales appears to unite individuals and associated then again it makes social separation with respect to BBC News report. As the young will in general spend numerous hours on these locales, they once in a while have eye to eye connection. Agreeing different investigations, researchers assessment confirmed that social disconnection can prompt a large group of passionate, mental, physical and mental issues which incorporate nervousness, gloom and substantial protestations among numerous others. Other contrary impacts of person to person communication different individuals proposed included empowering poor spelling and syntax, presenting underage to online predators, permitting spread of falsehood that is seen as actuality, diminishing profitability as the individuals who should work invest energy in the locales to visit, give an ideal stage to digital harassing and giving subtleties that expansion dangers of data fraud. Numerous guardians stress over how introduction to innovation may influence babies formatively. We realize our preschoolers are getting new social and psychological aptitudes at a shocking pace, and we dont need hours spent stuck to an iPad to obstruct that. In any case, puberty is a similarly imperative time of fast improvement, and excessively few of us are focusing on how our adolescents utilization of innovation substantially more extreme and closer than a 3-year-old playing with parents iPhone is influencing them. If a child is constancy engaged in technology, he/she is ruining their cognitive and social development. Technology can ruin a child cognitively because the child or children arent entertained by educational information. Nine times out of ten a child is participating in non-educational activities such as using social media or playing violent video games. If a child is constantly exposed to non-educational activities, he/ she will not receive the correct amount of knowledge in order to develop in life. The more time a child spends on social media the less time they spend reading a book, learning new vocabulary, doing homework, or even learning a new concept. Teenagers spend over 80% of their time on social media, thats also including their time at school. How can a child learn and develop their knowledge cognitively if theyre not paying attention to the information given? One may ask how investing all that energy in the web-based social networking destinations may positively affect them. Indeed, online networking helps the young and some other users refresh with what is going on around the globe, enable the youngsters to remain associated and interface with each other regardless of the possibility that they are numerous miles away. This fortifies their relationship regardless of the possibility that they completed school and moved to various areas they remain associated and refresh each other. Likewise, online networking has given a stage whereby the young can make gatherings and pages in view of their regular teaching and wind up building associations and open doors for their professions by refreshing different points to talk about. While on one hand informal organization destinations appears to unite individuals and associated then again it makes social separation as to BBC News report. As teens tend to spend numerous hours on these websites, they occasionally have eye to eye communication. Spending too much time on these sites can be dangerous as frequently because of political occasions the world over express and savage symbolism get appeared on the exchange strings. Frequently it is extremely hard to direct such substance because of its viral nature. This may negatively affect the psyches of the kids, driving them to have a twisted perspective of the world. Concurring different examinations, researchers assessment discovered that social separation can prompt a large group of passionate, mental, physical and mental issues which incorporate tension, despondency and substantial objections among numerous others. The present young people are presented to pictures and statuses that depict flawlessness. Online life locales, for example, Facebook and Instagram tend to feature admired body-types through pictures that have been cosmetically adjusted, and accordingly set implausible and unattainable magnificence principles for youthful kids whose bodies are experiencing wild change. Other contrary impacts of informal communication different individuals recommended included empowering poor spelling and linguistic use, presenting underage to online predators, permitting spread of falsehood that is seen as actuality, diminishing profitability as the individuals who should work invest energy in the destinations to talk, give an ideal stage to digital tormenting and giving subtle elements that expansion dangers of wholesale fraud. Kids investing excessive energy online may consider a virtual connection substitute for a genuine one. Creating social aptitudes encourages young people to set up and look after companionships. Because of the way that youngsters and kids invest a ton of energy connecting over online networking locales and applications, a considerable lot of them are setting up social collaboration aptitudes that dont really apply to the disconnected world. While, obviously, online networking can sustain and fortify existing connections, its indispensable that youngsters likewise figure out how to have significant, up close and personal trades with individuals. Being socially secluded is a noteworthy hazard factor for both wretchedness and suicide. With young people presently investing more energy on the web and less time collaborating with individuals in reality, they hazard attempting to create compelling social aptitudes as well as inclining themselves to psychological well-being issues. Mental specialists caution that web-based social networking destinations can have passionate ramifications for kids who are as of now experiencing low confidence or certainty. Such youngsters may judge their prosperity by the quantity of companions they have on the Facebook or if they are incorporated into a gathering of individuals. This may prompt further diminishing of their certainty. By investing more energy online, they frequently disregard the significance and the fitting conduct identified with eye to eye contact. Hence, the arrangement of relational aptitudes that are fundamental for the accomplishment in the genuine may not grow legitimately. In conclusion, social media can have either a positive or negative impact on youth and young adults, it all just depends on how you use it, how much you use it and what youre using it for.
Wednesday, May 6, 2020
The Twilight Saga 2 New Moon Chapter 4 WAKING UP Free Essays
string(30) " pulled out my Calculus book\." TIME PASSES. EVEN WHEN IT SEEMS IMPOSSIBLE. EVEN when each tick of the second hand aches like the pulse of blood behind a bruise. We will write a custom essay sample on The Twilight Saga 2: New Moon Chapter 4 WAKING UP or any similar topic only for you Order Now It passes unevenly, in strange lurches and dragging lulls, but pass it does. Even for me. CHARLIEââ¬â¢S FIST CAME DOWN ON THE TABLE. ââ¬Å"THATââ¬â¢S IT, Bella! Iââ¬â¢m sending you home.â⬠I looked up from my cereal, which I was pondering rather than eating, and stared at Charlie in shock. I hadnââ¬â¢t been following the conversationactually, I hadnââ¬â¢t been aware that we were having a conversationand I wasnââ¬â¢t sure what he meant. ââ¬Å"I am home,â⬠I mumbled, confused. ââ¬Å"Iââ¬â¢m sending you to Renee, to Jacksonville,â⬠he clarified. Charlie watched with exasperation as I slowly grasped the meaning of his words. ââ¬Å"What did I do?â⬠I felt my face crumple. It was so unfair. My behavior had been above reproach for the past four months. After that first week, which neither of us ever mentioned, I hadnââ¬â¢t missed a day of school or work. My grades were perfect. I never broke curfewI never went anywhere from which to break curfew in the first place. I only very rarely served leftovers. Charlie was scowling. ââ¬Å"You didnââ¬â¢t do anything. Thatââ¬â¢s the problem. You never do anything.â⬠ââ¬Å"You want me to get into trouble?â⬠I wondered, my eyebrows pulling together in mystification. I made an effort to pay attention. It wasnââ¬â¢t easy. I was so used to tuning everything out, my ears felt stopped up. ââ¬Å"Trouble would be better than this this moping around all the time!â⬠That stung a bit. Iââ¬â¢d been careful to avoid all forms of moroseness, moping included. ââ¬Å"I am not moping around.â⬠ââ¬Å"Wrong word,â⬠he grudgingly conceded. ââ¬Å"Moping would be betterthat would be doing something. Youââ¬â¢re just lifeless, Bella. I think thatââ¬â¢s the word I want.â⬠This accusation struck home. I sighed and tried to put some animation into my response. ââ¬Å"Iââ¬â¢m sorry, Dad.â⬠My apology sounded a little flat, even to me. Iââ¬â¢d thought Iââ¬â¢d been fooling him. Keeping Charlie from suffering was the whole point of all this effort. How depressing to think that the effort had been wasted. ââ¬Å"I donââ¬â¢t want you to apologize.â⬠I sighed. ââ¬Å"Then tell me what you do want me to do.â⬠ââ¬Å"Bella,â⬠he hesitated, scrutinizing my reaction to his next words. ââ¬Å"Honey, youââ¬â¢re not the first person to go through this kind of thing, you know.â⬠ââ¬Å"I know that.â⬠My accompanying grimace was limp and unimpressive. ââ¬Å"Listen, honey. I think thatthat maybe you need some help.â⬠ââ¬Å"Help?â⬠He paused, searching for the words again. ââ¬Å"When your mother left,â⬠he began, frowning, ââ¬Å"and took you with her.â⬠He inhaled deeply. ââ¬Å"Well, that was a really bad time for me.â⬠ââ¬Å"I know, Dad,â⬠I mumbled. ââ¬Å"But I handled it,â⬠he pointed out. ââ¬Å"Honey, youââ¬â¢re not handling it. I waited, I hoped it would get better.â⬠He stared at me and I looked down quickly. ââ¬Å"I think we both know itââ¬â¢s not getting better.â⬠ââ¬Å"Iââ¬â¢mfine.â⬠He ignored me. ââ¬Å"Maybe, well, maybe if you talked to someone about it. A professional.â⬠ââ¬Å"You want me to see a shrink?â⬠My voice was a shade sharper as I realized what he was getting at. ââ¬Å"Maybe it would help.â⬠ââ¬Å"And maybe it wouldnââ¬â¢t help one little bit.â⬠I didnââ¬â¢t know much about psychoanalysis, but I was pretty sure that it didnââ¬â¢t work unless the subject was relatively honest. Sure, I could tell the truthif I wanted to spend the rest of my life in a padded cell. He examined my obstinate expression, and switched to another line of attack. ââ¬Å"Itââ¬â¢s beyond me, Bella. Maybe your motherâ⬠ââ¬Å"Look,â⬠I said in a flat voice. ââ¬Å"Iââ¬â¢ll go out tonight, if you want. Iââ¬â¢ll call Jess or Angela.â⬠ââ¬Å"Thatââ¬â¢s not what I want,â⬠he argued, frustrated. ââ¬Å"I donââ¬â¢t think I can live through seeing you try harder. Iââ¬â¢ve never seen anyone trying so hard. It hurts to watch.â⬠I pretended to be dense, looking down at the table. ââ¬Å"I donââ¬â¢t understand, Dad. First youââ¬â¢re mad because Iââ¬â¢m not doing anything, and then you say you donââ¬â¢t want me to go out.â⬠ââ¬Å"I want you to be happyno, not even that much. I just want you not to be miserable. I think youââ¬â¢ll have a better chance if you get out of Forks.â⬠My eyes flashed up with the first small spark of feeling Iââ¬â¢d had in too long to contemplate. ââ¬Å"Iââ¬â¢m not leaving,â⬠I said. ââ¬Å"Why not?â⬠he demanded. ââ¬Å"Iââ¬â¢m in my last semester of schoolit would screw everything up.â⬠ââ¬Å"Youââ¬â¢re a good studentyouââ¬â¢ll figure it out.â⬠ââ¬Å"I donââ¬â¢t want to crowd Mom and Phil.â⬠ââ¬Å"Your motherââ¬â¢s been dying to have you back.â⬠ââ¬Å"Florida is too hot.â⬠His fist came down on the table again. ââ¬Å"We both know whatââ¬â¢s really going on here, Bella, and itââ¬â¢s not good for you.â⬠He took a deep breath. ââ¬Å"Itââ¬â¢s been months. No calls, no letters, no contact. You canââ¬â¢t keep waitingforhim.â⬠I glowered at him. The heat almost, but not quite, reached my face. It had been a long time since Iââ¬â¢d blushed with any emotion. This whole subject was utterly forbidden, as he was well aware. ââ¬Å"Iââ¬â¢m not waiting for anything. I donââ¬â¢t expect anything,â⬠I said in a low monotone. ââ¬Å"Bella,â⬠Charlie began, his voice thick. ââ¬Å"I have to get to school,â⬠I interrupted, standing up and yanking my untouched breakfast from the table. I dumped my bowl in the sink without pausing to wash it out. I couldnââ¬â¢t deal with any more conversation. ââ¬Å"Iââ¬â¢ll make plans with Jessica,â⬠I called over my shoulder as I strapped on my school bag, not meeting his eyes. ââ¬Å"Maybe I wonââ¬â¢t be home for dinner. Weââ¬â¢ll go to Port Angeles and watch a movie.â⬠I was out the front door before he could react. In my haste to get away from Charlie, I ended up being one of the first ones to school. The plus side was that I got a really good parking spot. The downside was that I had free time on my hands, and I tried to avoid free time at all costs. Quickly, before I could start thinking about Charlieââ¬â¢s accusations, I pulled out my Calculus book. You read "The Twilight Saga 2: New Moon Chapter 4 WAKING UP" in category "Essay examples" I flipped it open to the section we should be starting today, and tried to make sense of it. Reading math was even worse than listening to it, but I was getting better at it. In the last several months, Iââ¬â¢d spent ten times the amount of time on Calculus than Iââ¬â¢d ever spent on math before. As a result, I was managing to keep in the range of a low A. I knew Mr. Varner felt my improvement was all due to his superior teaching methods. And if that made him happy, I wasnââ¬â¢t going to burst his bubble. I forced myself to keep at it until the parking lot was full, and I ended up rushing to English. We were working on Animal Farm, an easy subject matter. I didnââ¬â¢t mind communism; it was a welcome change from the exhausting romances that made up most of the curriculum. I settled into my seat, pleased by the distraction of Mr. Bertyââ¬â¢s lecture. Time moved easily while I was in school. The bell rang all too soon. I started repacking my bag. ââ¬Å"Bella?â⬠I recognized Mikeââ¬â¢s voice, and I knew what his next words would be before he said them. ââ¬Å"Are you working tomorrow?â⬠I looked up. He was leaning across the aisle with an anxious expression. Every Friday he asked me the same question. Never mind that I hadnââ¬â¢t taken so much as a sick day. Well, with one exception, months ago. But he had no reason to look at me with such concern. I was a model employee. ââ¬Å"Tomorrow is Saturday, isnââ¬â¢t it?â⬠I said. Having just had it pointed out to me by Charlie, I realized how lifeless my voice really sounded. ââ¬Å"Yeah, it is,â⬠he agreed. ââ¬Å"See you in Spanish.â⬠He waved once before turning his back. He didnââ¬â¢t bother walking me to class anymore. I trudged off to Calculus with a grim expression. This was the class where I sat next to Jessica. It had been weeks, maybe months, since Jess had even greeted me when I passed her in the hall. I knew I had offended her with my antisocial behavior, and she was sulking. It wasnââ¬â¢t going to be easy to talk to her nowespecially to ask her to do me a favor. I weighed my options carefully as I loitered outside the classroom, procrastinating. I wasnââ¬â¢t about to face Charlie again without some kind of social interaction to report. I knew I couldnââ¬â¢t lie, though the thought of driving to Port Angeles and back alonebeing sure my odometer reflected the correct mileage, just in case he checkedwas very tempting. Jessicaââ¬â¢s mom was the biggest gossip in town, and Charlie was bound to run into Mrs. Stanley sooner rather than later. When he did, he would no doubt mention the trip. Lying was out. With a sigh, I shoved the door open. Mr. Varner gave me a dark lookheââ¬â¢d already started the lecture. I hurried to my seat. Jessica didnââ¬â¢t look up as I sat next to her. I was glad that I had fifty minutes to mentally prepare myself. This class flew by even faster than English. A small part of that speed was due to my goody-goody preparation this morning in the truckbut mostly it stemmed from the fact that time always sped up when I was looking forward to something unpleasant. I grimaced when Mr. Varner dismissed the class five minutes early. He smiled like he was being nice. ââ¬Å"Jess?â⬠My nose wrinkled as I cringed, waiting for her to turn on me. She twisted in her seat to face me, eyeing me incredulously. ââ¬Å"Are you talking to me, Bella?â⬠ââ¬Å"Of course.â⬠I widened my eyes to suggest innocence. ââ¬Å"What? Do you need help with Calculus?â⬠Her tone was a tad sour. ââ¬Å"No.â⬠I shook my head. ââ¬Å"Actually, I wanted to know if you would go to the movies with me tonight? I really need a girlsââ¬â¢ night out.â⬠The words sounded stiff, like badly delivered lines, and she looked suspicious. ââ¬Å"Why are you asking me?â⬠she asked, still unfriendly. ââ¬Å"Youââ¬â¢re the first person I think of when I want girl time.â⬠I smiled, and I hoped the smile looked genuine. It was probably true. She was at least the first person I thought of when I wanted to avoid Charlie. It amounted to the same thing. She seemed a little mollified. ââ¬Å"Well, I donââ¬â¢t know.â⬠ââ¬Å"Do you have plans?â⬠ââ¬Å"No I guess I can go with you. What do you want to see?â⬠ââ¬Å"Iââ¬â¢m not sure whatââ¬â¢s playing,â⬠I hedged. This was the tricky part. I racked my brain for a cluehadnââ¬â¢t I heard someone talk about a movie recently? Seen a poster? ââ¬Å"How about that one with the female president?â⬠She looked at me oddly. ââ¬Å"Bella, that oneââ¬â¢s been out of the theater forever.â⬠ââ¬Å"Oh.â⬠I frowned. ââ¬Å"Is there anything youââ¬â¢d like to see?â⬠Jessicaââ¬â¢s natural bubbliness started to leak out in spite of herself as she thought out loud. ââ¬Å"Well, thereââ¬â¢s that new romantic comedy thatââ¬â¢s getting great reviews. I want to see that one. And my dad just saw Dead End and he really liked it.â⬠I grasped at the promising title. ââ¬Å"Whatââ¬â¢s that one about?â⬠ââ¬Å"Zombies or something. He said it was the scariest thing heââ¬â¢d seen in years.â⬠ââ¬Å"That sounds perfect.â⬠Iââ¬â¢d rather deal with real zombies than watch a romance. ââ¬Å"Okay.â⬠She seemed surprised by my response. I tried to remember if I liked scary movies, but I wasnââ¬â¢t sure. ââ¬Å"Do you want me to pick you up after school?â⬠she offered. ââ¬Å"Sure.â⬠Jessica smiled at me with tentative friendliness before she left. My answering smile was just a little late, but I thought that she saw it. The rest of the day passed quickly, my thoughts focused on planning for tonight. I knew from experience that once I got Jessica talking, I would be able to get away with a few mumbled responses at the appropriate moments. Only minimal interaction would be required. The thick haze that blurred my days now was sometimes confusing. I was surprised when I found myself in my room, not clearly remembering the drive home from school or even opening the front door. But that didnââ¬â¢t matter. Losing track of time was the most I asked from life. I didnââ¬â¢t fight the haze as I turned to my closet. The numbness was more essential in some places than in others. I barely registered what I was looking at as I slid the door aside to reveal the pile of rubbish on the left side of my closet, under the clothes I never wore. My eyes did not stray toward the black garbage bag that held my present from that last birthday, did not see the shape of the stereo where it strained against the black plastic; I didnââ¬â¢t think of the bloody mess my nails had been when Iââ¬â¢d finished clawing it out of the dashboard. I yanked the old purse I rarely used off the nail it hung from, and shoved the door shut. Just then I heard a horn honking. I swiftly traded my wallet from my schoolbag into the purse. I was in a hurry, as if rushing would somehow make the night pass more quickly. I glanced at myself in the hall mirror before I opened the door, arranging my features carefully into a smile and trying to hold them there. ââ¬Å"Thanks for coming with me tonight,â⬠I told Jess as I climbed into the passenger seat, trying to infuse my tone with gratitude. It had been a while since Iââ¬â¢d really thought about what I was saying to anyone besides Charlie. Jess was harder. I wasnââ¬â¢t sure which were the right emotions to fake. ââ¬Å"Sure. So, what brought this on?â⬠Jess wondered as she drove down my street. ââ¬Å"Brought what on?â⬠ââ¬Å"Why did you suddenly decide to go out?â⬠It sounded like she changed her question halfway through. I shrugged. ââ¬Å"Just needed a change.â⬠I recognized the song on the radio then, and quickly reached for the dial. ââ¬Å"Do you mind?â⬠I asked. ââ¬Å"No, go ahead.â⬠I scanned through the stations until I found one that was harmless. I peeked at Jessââ¬â¢s expression as the new music filled the car. Her eyes squinted. ââ¬Å"Since when do you listen to rap?â⬠ââ¬Å"I donââ¬â¢t know,â⬠I said. ââ¬Å"A while.â⬠ââ¬Å"You like this?â⬠she asked doubtfully. ââ¬Å"Sure.â⬠It would be much too hard to interact with Jessica normally if I had to work to tune out the music, too. I nodded my head, hoping I was in time with the beat. ââ¬Å"Okayâ⬠She stared out the windshield with wide eyes. ââ¬Å"So whatââ¬â¢s up with you and Mike these days?â⬠I asked quickly. ââ¬Å"You see him more than I do.â⬠The question hadnââ¬â¢t started her talking like Iââ¬â¢d hoped it would. ââ¬Å"Itââ¬â¢s hard to talk at work,â⬠I mumbled, and then I tried again. ââ¬Å"Have you been out with anyone lately?â⬠ââ¬Å"Not really. I go out with Conner sometimes. I went out with Eric two weeks ago.â⬠She rolled her eyes, and I sensed a long story. I clutched at the opportunity. ââ¬Å"Eric Yorkie? Who asked who?â⬠She groaned, getting more animated. ââ¬Å"He did, of course! I couldnââ¬â¢t think of a nice way to say no.â⬠ââ¬Å"Where did he take you?â⬠I demanded, knowing she would interpret my eagerness as interest. ââ¬Å"Tell me all about it.â⬠She launched into her tale, and I settled into my seat, more comfortable now. I paid strict attention, murmuring in sympathy and gasping in horror as called for. When she was finished with her Eric story, she continued into a Conner comparison without any prodding. The movie was playing early, so Jess thought we should hit the twilight showing and eat later. I was happy to go along with whatever she wanted; after all, I was getting what I wantedCharlie off my back. I kept Jess talking through the previews, so I could ignore them more easily. But I got nervous when the movie started. A young couple was walking along a beach, swinging hands and discussing their mutual affection with gooey falseness. I resisted the urge to cover my ears and start humming. I had not bargained for a romance. ââ¬Å"I thought we picked the zombie movie,â⬠I hissed to Jessica. ââ¬Å"This is the zombie movie.â⬠ââ¬Å"Then why isnââ¬â¢t anyone getting eaten?â⬠I asked desperately. She looked at me with wide eyes that were almost alarmed. ââ¬Å"Iââ¬â¢m sure that partââ¬â¢s coming,â⬠she whispered. ââ¬Å"Iââ¬â¢m getting popcorn. Do you want any?â⬠ââ¬Å"No, thanks.â⬠Someone shushed us from behind. I took my time at the concession counter, watching the clock and debating what percentage of a ninety-minute movie could be spent on romantic exposition. I decided ten minutes was more than enough, but I paused just inside the theater doors to be sure. I could hear horrified screams blaring from the speakers, so I knew Iââ¬â¢d waited long enough. ââ¬Å"You missed everything,â⬠Jess murmured when I slid back into my seat. ââ¬Å"Almost everyone is a zombie now.â⬠ââ¬Å"Long line.â⬠I offered her some popcorn. She took a handful. The rest of the movie was comprised of gruesome zombie attacks and endless screaming from the handful of people left alive, their numbers dwindling quickly. I would have thought there was nothing in that to disturb me. But I felt uneasy, and I wasnââ¬â¢t sure why at first. It wasnââ¬â¢t until almost the very end, as I watched a haggard zombie shambling after the last shrieking survivor, that I realized what the problem was. The scene kept cutting between the horrified face of the heroine, and the dead, emotionless face of her pursuer, back and forth as it closed the distance. And I realized which one resembled me the most. I stood up. ââ¬Å"Where are you going? Thereââ¬â¢s, like, two minutes left,â⬠Jess hissed. ââ¬Å"I need a drink,â⬠I muttered as I raced for the exit. I sat down on the bench outside the theater door and tried very hard not to think of the irony. But it was ironic, all things considered, that, in the end, I would wind up as a zombie. I hadnââ¬â¢t seen that one coming. Not that I hadnââ¬â¢t dreamed of becoming a mythical monster oncejust never a grotesque, animated corpse. I shook my head to dislodge that train of thought, feeling panicky. I couldnââ¬â¢t afford to think about what Iââ¬â¢d once dreamed of. It was depressing to realize that I wasnââ¬â¢t the heroine anymore, that my story was over. Jessica came out of the theater doors and hesitated, probably wondering where the best place was to search for me. When she saw me, she looked relieved, but only for a moment. Then she looked irritated. ââ¬Å"Was the movie too scary for you?â⬠she wondered. ââ¬Å"Yeah,â⬠I agreed. ââ¬Å"I guess Iââ¬â¢m just a coward.â⬠ââ¬Å"Thatââ¬â¢s funny.â⬠She frowned. ââ¬Å"I didnââ¬â¢t think you were scaredI was screaming all the time, but I didnââ¬â¢t hear you scream once. So I didnââ¬â¢t know why you left.â⬠I shrugged. ââ¬Å"Just scared.â⬠She relaxed a little. ââ¬Å"That was the scariest movie I think Iââ¬â¢ve ever seen. Iââ¬â¢ll bet weââ¬â¢re going to have nightmares tonight.â⬠ââ¬Å"No doubt about that,â⬠I said, trying to keep my voice normal. It was inevitable that I would have nightmares, but they wouldnââ¬â¢t be about zombies. Her eyes flashed to my face and away. Maybe I hadnââ¬â¢t succeeded with the normal voice. ââ¬Å"Where do you want to eat?â⬠Jess asked. ââ¬Å"I donââ¬â¢t care.â⬠ââ¬Å"Okay.â⬠Jess started talking about the male lead in the movie as we walked. I nodded as she gushed over his hotness, unable to remember seeing a non-zombie man at all. I didnââ¬â¢t watch where Jessica was leading me. I was only vaguely aware that it was dark and quieter now. It took me longer than it should have to realize why it was quiet. Jessica had stopped babbling. I looked at her apologetically, hoping I hadnââ¬â¢t hurt her feelings. Jessica wasnââ¬â¢t looking at me. Her face was tense; she stared straight ahead and walked fast. As I watched, her eyes darted quickly to the right, across the road, and back again. I glanced around myself for the first time. We were on a short stretch of unlit sidewalk. The little shops lining the street were all locked up for the night, windows black. Half a block ahead, the streetlights started up again, and I could see, farther down, the bright golden arches of the McDonaldââ¬â¢s she was heading for. Across the street there was one open business. The windows were covered from inside and there were neon signs, advertisements for different brands of beer, glowing in front of them. The biggest sign, in brilliant green, was the name of the barOne-Eyed Peteââ¬â¢s. I wondered if there was some pirate theme not visible from outside. The metal door was propped open; it was dimly lit inside, and the low murmur of many voices and the sound of ice clinking in glasses floated across the street. Lounging against the wall beside the door were four men. I glanced back at Jessica. Her eyes were fixed on the path ahead and she moved briskly. She didnââ¬â¢t look frightenedjust wary, trying to not attract attention to herself. I paused without thinking, looking back at the four men with a strong sense of dj vu. This was a different road, a different night, but the scene was so much the same. One of them was even short and dark. As I stopped and turned toward them, that one looked up in interest. I stared back at him, frozen on the sidewalk. ââ¬Å"Bella?â⬠Jess whispered. ââ¬Å"What are you doing?â⬠I shook my head, not sure myself. ââ¬Å"I think I know themâ⬠I muttered. What was I doing? I should be running from this memory as fast as I could, blocking the image of the four lounging men from my mind, protecting myself with the numbness I couldnââ¬â¢t function without. Why was I stepping, dazed, into the street? It seemed too coincidental that I should be in Port Angeles with Jessica, on a dark street even. My eyes focused on the short one, trying to match the features to my memory of the man who had threatened me that night almost a year ago. I wondered if there was any way I would recognize the man, if it was really him. That particular part of that particular evening was just a blur. My body remembered it better than my mind did; the tension in my legs as I tried to decide whether to run or to stand my ground, the dryness in my throat as I struggled to build a decent scream, the tight stretch of skin across my knuckles as I clenched my hands into fists, the chills on the back of my neck when the dark-haired man called me ââ¬Å"sugar.â⬠There was an indefinite, implied kind of menace to these men that had nothing to do with that other night. It sprung from the fact that they were strangers, and it was dark here, and they outnumbered usnothing more specific than that. But it was enough that Jessicaââ¬â¢s voice cracked in panic as she called after me. ââ¬Å"Bella, come on!â⬠I ignored her, walking slowly forward without ever making the conscious decision to move my feet. I didnââ¬â¢t understand why, but the nebulous threat the men presented drew me toward them. It was a senseless impulse, but I hadnââ¬â¢t felt any kind of impulse in so long I followed it. Something unfamiliar beat through my veins. Adrenaline, I realized, long absent from my system, drumming my pulse faster and fighting against the lack of sensation. It was strangewhy the adrenaline when there was no fear? It was almost as if it were an echo of the last time Iââ¬â¢d stood like this, on a dark street in Port Angeles with strangers. I saw no reason for fear. I couldnââ¬â¢t imagine anything in the world that there was left to be afraid of, not physically at least. One of the few advantages of losing everything. I was halfway across the street when Jess caught up to me and grabbed my arm. ââ¬Å"Bella! You canââ¬â¢t go in a bar!â⬠she hissed. ââ¬Å"Iââ¬â¢m not going in,â⬠I said absently, shaking her hand off. ââ¬Å"I just want to see somethingâ⬠ââ¬Å"Are you crazy?â⬠she whispered. ââ¬Å"Are you suicidal?â⬠That question caught my attention, and my eyes focused on her. ââ¬Å"No, Iââ¬â¢m not.â⬠My voice sounded defensive, but it was true. I wasnââ¬â¢t suicidal. Even in the beginning, when death unquestionably would have been a relief, I didnââ¬â¢t consider it. I owed too much to Charlie. I felt too responsible for Renee. I had to think of them. And Iââ¬â¢d made a promise not to do anything stupid or reckless. For all those reasons, I was still breathing. Remembering that promise. I felt a twinge of guilt. but what I was doing fight now didnââ¬â¢t really count. It wasnââ¬â¢t like I was taking a blade to my wrists. Jessââ¬â¢s eyes were round, her mouth hung open. Her question about suicide had been rhetorical, I realized too late. ââ¬Å"Go eat,â⬠I encouraged her, waving toward the fast food. I didnââ¬â¢t like the way she looked at me. ââ¬Å"Iââ¬â¢ll catch up in a minute.â⬠I turned away from her, back to the men who were watching us with amused, curious eyes. ââ¬Å"Bella, stop this right now!â⬠My muscles locked into place, froze me where I stood. Because it wasnââ¬â¢t Jessicaââ¬â¢s voice that rebuked me now. It was a furious voice, a familiar voice, a beautiful voicesoft like velvet even though it was irate. It was his voiceI was exceptionally careful not to think his nameand I was surprised that the sound of it did not knock me to my knees, did not curl me onto the pavement in a torture of loss. But there was no pain, none at all. In the instant that I heard his voice, everything was very clear. Like my head had suddenly surfaced out of some dark pool. I was more aware of everythingsight, sound, the feel of the cold air that I hadnââ¬â¢t noticed was blowing sharply against my face, the smells coming from the open bar door. I looked around myself in shock. ââ¬Å"Go back to Jessica,â⬠the lovely voice ordered, still angry. ââ¬Å"You promisednothing stupid.â⬠I was alone. Jessica stood a few feet from me, staring at me with frightened eyes. Against the wall, the strangers watched, confused, wondering what I was doing, standing there motionless in the middle of the street. I shook my head, trying to understand. I knew he wasnââ¬â¢t there, and yet, he felt improbably close, close for the first time since since the end. The anger in his voice was concern, the same anger that was once very familiarsomething I hadnââ¬â¢t heard in what felt like a lifetime. ââ¬Å"Keep your promise.â⬠The voice was slipping away, as if the volume was being turned down on a radio. I began to suspect that I was having some kind of hallucination. Triggered, no doubt, by the memorythe deja vu, the strange familiarity of the situation. I ran through the possibilities quickly in my head. Option one: I was crazy. That was the laymanââ¬â¢s term for people who heard voices in their heads. Possible. Option two: My subconscious mind was giving me what it thought I wanted. This was wish fulfillmenta momentary relief from pain by embracing the incorrect idea that he cared whether I lived or died. Projecting what he would have said if A) he were here, and B) he would be in any way bothered by something bad happening to me. Probable. I could see no option three, so I hoped it was the second option and this was just my subconscious running amuck, rather than something I would need to be hospitalized for. My reaction was hardly sane, thoughI was grateful. The sound of his voice was something that Iââ¬â¢d feared I was losing, and so, more than anything else, I felt overwhelming gratitude that my unconscious mind had held onto that sound better than my conscious one had. I was not allowed to think of him. That was something I tried to be very strict about. Of course I slipped; I was only human. But I was getting better, and so the pain was something I could avoid for days at a time now. The tradeoff was the never-ending numbness. Between pain and nothing, Iââ¬â¢d chosen nothing. I waited for the pain now. I was not numbmy senses felt unusually intense after so many months of the hazebut the normal pain held off. The only ache was the disappointment that his voice was fading. There was a second of choice. The wise thing would be to run away from this potentially destructiveand certainly mentally unstabledevelopment. It would be stupid to encourage hallucinations. But his voice was fading. I took another step forward, testing. ââ¬Å"Bella, turn around,â⬠he growled. I sighed in relief. The anger was what I wanted to hearfalse, fabricated evidence that he cared, a dubious gift from my subconscious. Very few seconds had passed while I sorted this all out. My little audience watched, curious. It probably looked like I was just dithering over whether or not I was going to approach them. How could they guess that I was standing there enjoying an unexpected moment of insanity? ââ¬Å"Hi,â⬠one of the men called, his tone both confident and a bit sarcastic. He was fair-skinned and fair-haired, and he stood with the assurance of someone who thought of himself as quite good-looking. I couldnââ¬â¢t tell whether he was or not. I was prejudiced. The voice in my head answered with an exquisite snarl. I smiled, and the confident man seemed to take that as encouragement. ââ¬Å"Can I help you with something? You look lost.â⬠He grinned and winked. I stepped carefully over the gutter, running with water that was black in the darkness. ââ¬Å"No. Iââ¬â¢m not lost.â⬠Now that I was closerand my eyes felt oddly in focusI analyzed the short, dark manââ¬â¢s face. It was not familiar in any way. I suffered a curious sensation of disappointment that this was not the terrible man who had tried to hurt me almost a year ago. The voice in my head was quiet now. The short man noticed my stare. ââ¬Å"Can I buy you a drink?â⬠he offered, nervous, seeming flattered that Iââ¬â¢d singled him out to stare at. ââ¬Å"Iââ¬â¢m too young,â⬠I answered automatically. He was baffledwondering why I had approached them. I felt compelled to explain. ââ¬Å"From across the street, you looked like someone I knew. Sorry, my mistake.â⬠The threat that had pulled me across the street had evaporated. These were not the dangerous men I remembered. They were probably nice guys. Safe. I lost interest. ââ¬Å"Thatââ¬â¢s okay,â⬠the confident blonde said. ââ¬Å"Stay and hang out with us.â⬠ââ¬Å"Thanks, but I canââ¬â¢t.â⬠Jessica was hesitating in the middle of the street, her eyes wide with outrage and betrayal. ââ¬Å"Oh, just a few minutes.â⬠I shook my head, and turned to rejoin Jessica. ââ¬Å"Letââ¬â¢s go eat,â⬠I suggested, barely glancing at her. Though I appeared to be, for the moment, freed of the zombie abstraction, I was just as distant. My mind was preoccupied. The safe, numb deadness did not come back, and I got more anxious with every minute that passed without its return. ââ¬Å"What were you thinking?â⬠Jessica snapped. ââ¬Å"You donââ¬â¢t know themthey could have been psychopaths!â⬠I shrugged, wishing she would let it go. ââ¬Å"I just thought I knew the one guy.â⬠ââ¬Å"You are so odd, Bella Swan. I feel like I donââ¬â¢t know who you are.â⬠ââ¬Å"Sorry.â⬠I didnââ¬â¢t know what else to say to that. We walked to McDonaldââ¬â¢s in silence. Iââ¬â¢d bet that she was wishing weââ¬â¢d taken her car instead of walking the short distance from the theater, so that she could use the drive-through. She was just as anxious now for this evening to be over as I had been from the beginning. I tried to start a conversation a few times while we ate, but Jessica was not cooperative. I must have really offended her. When we go back in the car, she tuned the stereo back to her favorite station and turned the volume too loud to allow easy conversation. I didnââ¬â¢t have to struggle as hard as usual to ignore the music. Even though my mind, for once, was not carefully numb and empty, I had too much to think about to hear the lyrics. I waited for the numbness to return, or the pain. Because the pain must be coming. Iââ¬â¢d broken my personal rules. Instead of shying away from the memories, Iââ¬â¢d walked forward and greeted them. Iââ¬â¢d heard his voice, so clearly, in my head. That was going to cost me, I was sure of it. Especially if I couldnââ¬â¢t reclaim the haze to protect myself. I felt too alert, and that frightened me. But relief was still the strongest emotion in my bodyrelief that came from the very core of my being. As much as I struggled not to think of him, I did not struggle to forget. I worriedlate in the night, when the exhaustion of sleep deprivation broke down my defensesthat it was all slipping away. That my mind was a sieve, and I would someday not be able to remember the precise color of his eyes, the feel of his cool skin, or the texture of his voice. I could not think of them, but I must remember them. Because there was just one thing that I had to believe to be able to liveI had to know that he existed. That was all. Everything else I could endure. So long as he existed. Thatââ¬â¢s why I was more trapped in Forks than I ever had been before, why Iââ¬â¢d fought with Charlie when he suggested a change. Honestly, it shouldnââ¬â¢t matter; no one was ever coming back here. But if I were to go to Jacksonville, or anywhere else bright and unfamiliar, how could I be sure he was real? In a place where I could never imagine him, the conviction might fade and that I could not live through. Forbidden to remember, terrified to forget; it was a hard line to walk. I was surprised when Jessica stopped the car in front of my house. The ride had not taken long, but, short as it seemed, I wouldnââ¬â¢t have thought that Jessica could go that long without speaking. ââ¬Å"Thanks for going out with me, Jess,â⬠I said as I opened my door. ââ¬Å"That wasfun.â⬠I hoped that fun was the appropriate word. ââ¬Å"Sure,â⬠she muttered. ââ¬Å"Iââ¬â¢m sorry about after the movie.â⬠ââ¬Å"Whatever, Bella.â⬠She glared out the windshield instead of looking at me. She seemed to be growing angrier rather than getting over it. ââ¬Å"See you Monday?â⬠ââ¬Å"Yeah. Bye.â⬠I gave up and shut the door. She drove away, still without looking at me. Iââ¬â¢d forgotten her by the time I was inside. Charlie was waiting for me in the middle of the hall, his arms folded tight over his chest with his hands balled into fists. ââ¬Å"Hey, Dad,â⬠I said absentmindedly as I ducked around Charlie, heading for the stairs. Iââ¬â¢d been thinking about him for too long, and I wanted to be upstairs before it caught up with me. ââ¬Å"Where have you been?â⬠Charlie demanded. I looked at my dad, surprised. ââ¬Å"I went to a movie in Port Angeles with Jessica. Like I told you this morning.â⬠ââ¬Å"Humph,â⬠he grunted. ââ¬Å"Is that okay?â⬠He studied my face, his eyes widening as if he saw something unexpected. ââ¬Å"Yeah, thatââ¬â¢s fine. Did you havefun?â⬠ââ¬Å"Sure,â⬠I said. ââ¬Å"We watched zombies eat people. It was great.â⬠His eyes narrowed. ââ¬Å"ââ¬ËNight, Dad.â⬠He let me pass. I hurried to my room. I lay in my bed a few minutes later, resigned as the pain finally made its appearance. It was a crippling thing, this sensation that a huge hole had been punched through my chest, excising my most vital organs and leaving ragged, unhealed gashes around the edges that continued to throb and bleed despite the passage of time. Rationally, I knew my lungs must still be intact, yet I gasped for air and my head spun like my efforts yielded me nothing. My heart must have been beating, too, but I couldnââ¬â¢t hear the sound of my pulse in my ears; my hands felt blue with cold. I curled inward, hugging my ribs to hold myself together. I scrambled for my numbness, my denial, but it evaded me. And yet, I found I could survive. I was alert, I felt the painthe aching loss that radiated out from my chest, sending wracking waves of hurt through my limbs and headbut it was manageable. I could live through it. It didnââ¬â¢t feel like the pain had weakened over time, rather that Iââ¬â¢d grown strong enough to bear it. Whatever it was that had happened tonightand whether it was the zombies, the adrenaline, or the hallucinations that were responsibleit had woken me up. For the first time in a long time, I didnââ¬â¢t know what to expect in the morning. How to cite The Twilight Saga 2: New Moon Chapter 4 WAKING UP, Essay examples
Thursday, April 30, 2020
Physics Geosynchronous Orbits Geosynchronous Orbits + Geostationary Or
Physics Geosynchronous Orbits Geosynchronous Orbits + Geostationary Orbits Webster's dictionary defines a Geostationary orbit as of, relating to, or being a satellite that travels above Earth's equator from west to east at an altitude of approximately 35,900 kilometers (22,300 miles) and at a speed matching that of Earth's rotation, thus remaining stationary in relation to Earth. 2. Of, relating to, or being the orbit of such a satellite. In plain English, a satellite matches the earth's rotation making it seemingly hover over one spot of the globe enabling coverage of half the earth's surface. Three such satellites, appropriately spaced longitudinally, have worldwide coverage except for relatively small areas over the poles. Three main classes are typically placed into a GSO: Communications, missile early warning, and navigational satellites. The uses are unlimited ranging from commercial use to weather forecasts! The GSO originated in the mid-1970's. The U.S. Air Force des igned a two-stage interim upper stage (later renamed inertial upper stage, or IUS) to carry satellites weighing as much as 5,000 pounds (2,300 kg) from the shuttle to Geostationary orbit, and a three-stage version for boosting NASA' s space probes from the shuttle into interplanetary trajectories. IUS development problems, however, prompted NASA in the early 1980' s to design a widebody version of the Centaur upper stage to replace the three-stage IUS. In its first use (1983) aboard the shuttle, the IUS's second-stage nozzle burned through and left the first Tracking and Data Relay Satellite (TDRS-1) in a useless orbit. Ground controllers were able to use the satellite's onboard thrusters to put it in the proper Geostationary orbit over a period of weeks, but the IUS was grounded until the nozzle problem was resolved. Because the IUS was too large and expensive for most satellites going to Geostationary orbit, McDonnell Douglas developed the payload assist module, a special cradle w ith a turntable to spin and then release satellites. A small rocket motor and the satellite's own rockets then boost it into Geostationary orbit.
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